30/4/09

昨天泻肚子所以今天请了病假。昨天爸妈打了很多次电话给我，深深感觉到他们的担心及关心。傻瓜的我当然又流眼泪，等不及要回家了。哈哈！今早，大阿姨大给我问是不是生病了，为什么不打电话给她，她会来载我去她那里然后载我去机场。刚刚一个钟前最小阿姨也打了给我，问我那天面试如何，今晚几点飞机。真的很开心，现在只等待见到爸爸妈妈，哥哥及所有亲戚。

大家，今晚我回来了！！！等我哦。。。。。。。。

26/4/09

Yesterday evening go Genting with F and R. the feeling quite weird when i reach that familiar place. But i just go ahead, after supper, after casino back room to sleep. I lye down on bed, feel very tired but i can't fall asleep. Think of interview thing, think of go back home, miss papa mama so much.... after all i fall asleep. 8pm back from Genting, i sit in the Taxi for 1 hour to reach home. A lot of thing coming into my mind, my tears drop that i miss papa mama so much, i can't control my tears but i worry R notice so i try to dry it before it drop.

Worry about F too. At last he brought a very good news to us when he reach home. Luckily! Thanks Uncle Lim. haha!

I worry about tomorrow interview. i Hope it will success, but the more i worry the more i'm scared. hope everything going well.

..............

This eve S call me, ask me how i go to find her tomorrow. I suddenly don't know what to reply because i have forget about this. then i told her next time i go. suddenly feel myself very useless. Just now she still ask me in msn, why recently you sound no mood. Suddenly feel that this question is hard to answer for myself.

Recently i really change a lot. Y and S feel that. I feel myself don't really talk much like last time, i hate fooling around, i like to stay home, i like staying alone, i wish i got place to rest, to release, i'm so happy when fish say tomorrow we go genting. I wish to enjoy my time there even is just me and him, i hope can have an enjoy, peaceful and Win journey. HAHA! Maybe can have a good talk with fish.

Really sorry dears, especially to S and Y because these days i look cool towards your conversation. Because i really got many things don't know where to express, who to release and maybe i should say how should i start. But very weird and funny, eventhough nowadays not much things make me happy and smile, but things that pas make me laugh when i flash back. haha!

happy day

4 nights sleep at bintang warisan hotel with Qi, feel very happy with her, we go dinner, shopping and supper somemore. haha! she went back kuching today, this morning when i leave the room, i feel like crying when she keep on saying BYE to me and say i must look for her when back kuching.

i start to search for other job. I feel very very stressful and unhappy for this job. Everyday scolding by customer or agent without reason, scolding and shouting as they like. So i decided to leave.

21/4/09 i feel very happy, i sms a friend :" hows the life there?" then friend called me. I really feel very nervous when the moment talking in the phone. I can't feel the happiness but only nervous and scared. I don't worry about friend as i know he found a job and happy with the life there.

take care my friend......

19/4/09

现在已经是1.39am，我的眼泪及想念还是延续，无法停止。刚刚又去看朋友25/12/08那天7.30pm寄给我的email, 看了眼泪又流了。我不知道当时朋友写的心情，但我读了又感动，又心痛。站在门口想着B5-3-2, 一个我很难忘记的地方。可能很多朋友会很讨厌我的固执，我的任性，所以我再也不敢向任何人提到这个朋友。想到上课，放学，唱歌，打麻将，逛街，看戏，煮饭，煲汤。难道真的结束了？我突然很不喜欢唱歌，进厨房。

enjoyable sat nite

18/4/09 night friends come and find us for dinner, zi ying, yi hou and jack. We have a great drinking section with games. Full of laughter whole night, i feel very happy having fun with them. But when the fun end, i'm thinking of him, a friend who is far away who i never hear about him for so long. How is he now? Have he found a job? Is he happy there? Everything is just a zero, i just want to know some news about it, but i never got the news within 1 month time. I Hate myself for thinking of my friend, because i know i won't have the chance to meet him again. i tried so hard to forget but till now i never success. Every moment no matter at home, at work, before sleep, after sleep.......

18/4/09

The time now is saturday 1.19am. i'm still awake listening songs and blogging.

Last night went pasar malam and also shopping with yan. Both of us talk and laugh a lot. Happy moment last for only 3 hours and i'm turning back to my bad mood. I don't have much words to express but my tears fliying non-stop. I don't know who to explore to because i know i can't and i got no right to force anyone listening to me.

The night before yesterday i dream about F. it's so sudden and i also can't believe with it. Dream that i go back home go dinner with him at Point One. Ever been a memorable place to me. Still can flash back the environment there. Did contact in these 2 days, and hope to meet all my friends in Kuching very soon.

Yesterday evening papa did call me around 2.30pm but because of working i din get to answer his call. called papa 6.30pm after work, but he say is over already so nevermind. at last he say because feel bored so call me to talk. When i heard of this i feel that very guilty, sad and feel myself very useless, papa call me and wish to talk to me but even a simple call i also din get to answer.

Suddenly think of going back home. really miss papa, mama and koko so much. 12 days to go then i can be with them.

I control myself to not release anything about my feeling to anyone of my friends. Everyone have their own problems so better don't disturb them with my rubbish. haha!

14/4/09

今天没有什么开心，整天在公司都没有怎么笑过。回到家里躺在床上看戏，发呆。刚刚和文谈天，告诉他我的不开心，烦恼，又和怡开玩笑一下，心情好了很多。突然感觉很久没有和贤谈天了，最近好吗？表面看起来不错吧！哈哈！有空才和你谈谈天吧！

“笑不是理所当然的，要珍惜每一个笑的时刻”

13/4/2009

今天早上起身发现脚趾流血出浓，很痛，还感觉有点发烧。所以拿了病假。在没有事情做时，我又看回25/12 收到的email，很感人，很多回忆浮现，眼泪还是流了。

突然非常想念爸爸妈妈，很想立刻就看到他们。突然想要回家了，他们年纪大了，很想常常陪着他们。想了清除过后就要决定了。

明天又回到工作岗位了，希望一切作得最好！

12/4/09

12.30pm 起身，和housemate去吃然后回家有躺在床上玩电脑听歌，真的很闷。刚刚看到朋友on msn，在我考虑要不要找他谈天的五秒钟里他又offline了。很想找些事情做但又不知道要做什么。这就是做工的生活！

11/4/09

昨天放工后，我独自搭车去看医生，我的旅程花了5个钟。很累，很不开心。打针时，我忍住眼泪最终还是没有流，可是真的很痛。看了过后，下了很大雨，站在外面不知道怎么办。最后还是在雨中回家。

昨晚家里很热闹，我也开心了一晚。谢谢了朋友！ 过后我进了房间，又想到很久没有他消息了。想了想就睡着了。

今早妈妈就打来，告诉我表舅过世了。一些画面突然显出，我和哥哥小时候都是表舅照顾的，现在连最后一面都见不到了。永别了，舅舅！

7/4/2009

今天早上上班途中，经过一个男子，和他一样的香水。做工时，同事在接着电话，我就坐在旁边听，突然觉得有他的影子。某某样子很像。心飘走一阵子，又回来。第18天了，还是一样的感觉，消息呢？只有一次，过后就没了。刚刚听了一首歌 “真话伤人很痛”，很记得11/11/07晚上大家聚在我家里喝酒谈天，他唱了那首歌很多很多遍。今天早上去公司途中从手机听了这首歌 "爱在记忆中找你”，想到一年前我曾经在msn setting讲过我要做个自私的人，一天唱K时我唱这首歌他感觉到我眼泪快流了，那时他说：“要做个自私的人，首先就不要那么容易哭。” 这句话我很记得，很多很多回忆都可以让我从不开心的时刻变得开心，但开心的后面永远被泪水淹没。但，回忆永远是美好的。

难忘回忆

今天刚刚好两年了，两年前的今天认识了这位朋友，现在在很远的朋友，有点想念他哦！哈哈！

第一眼感觉他很拽，很酷，很静，认识他久了也觉得他很拽，很酷，不理不睬，但是感觉他话多了，有时还搞幽默，哈哈！

这个朋友对我来说很特别，少许重要。不管是性格或感觉方面都比人家特别一点。很怀念和他一起唱K，看戏，逛街的时刻，虽然只是短短时间但带给了我不少快乐及幸福。离开那住了一年的家，很舍不得，不开心，因为带给我很多笑声，歌声，麻将声，及我自己的哭声。在这间只住了两个人的屋子，虽然静，虽然有眼泪，虽然有时觉得闷，但住得还舍不得走。

去年26/12我正式离开这间屋子，离开只带着眼泪及不舍，每天都很怀念过去的点点滴滴，陪伴的只是眼泪及相片。在机场看着离开的背影，传来的简讯让我在机场哭了，还让对面座的陌生人送上面巾，真是不好意思。我看着简讯从那天起开始等待二月份的到来但传来消息朋友三月份才出现。

13/3 晚见到朋友前，很紧张，除了紧张还是紧张。knock!knock!敲门声响，打开门好像失去了自己，不知该讲什么，听见自己的心跳。虽然只谈了10分钟，门关上了，躺在床上，心里感觉开心但是眼泪却流了。笨蛋!!! 14/3 见了半天就走了。20/3 真的是最后一次了，因为朋友隔天离开了这里去了他想去的地方寻找工作。

到了今天，我不知道朋友近况如何，但我相信他很快就找到工作了，加油了朋友。。。

第一次在本人及大家面前承认了心中话，感觉好像不错，哈哈! 很开心认识这位朋友，因为留下了美好回忆及最后一封写下短短几句话的email。这封E是我得到最贵重的礼物。。。。

珍重朋友，友谊常在喔！哈哈！