28/5/09

很久没有去玩了。。。很想唱歌，很想吹吹冷风，很想喝酒，很想跳舞，很想寻找快乐，很想在海边大声地喊，很想开心，很想幸福得笑 ..........

放松了四天，过后又开始流泪了，
究竟礼物值多少，珍惜是什么，等待是多久，值得是对谁，眼泪难道是无价吗？

我开始模糊了，
开心是怎样？朋友是谁？
开始远离很多朋友，突然不喜欢吵闹，
喜欢一个人，不喜欢应酬，

真的很希望可以坐在海边，听着海浪声，吹着海风，享受宁静的夜晚。。。。。

26/5/09

2nd day working in new company... quite satisfied with this job... can sleep well these nights, feel happy. No matter how happy i am, friend still can make me disappointed and sad. At last "IT" lost. I thought is nothing to me but i feel very sad. nothing i can do just to forget it...

23/5/09

Yesterday is my last day to work in PRU. Feel relax to leave this stressful workplace, but feel sad to leave my friendly and funny colleague there.

Last night went dinner at DOLPHINE with my house mates and friends. quite relax and fun.

Finally i sms friend again about hotel room rate. Then get a call back from him. 3 calls i get from friend last night. Finally get to know how is he recently. Monday night gonna help friend move his thing, my mind suddenly flash about that "bear" in the box. haha!

I don't i will be happy a not after switching to new workplace, but i hope i will.

today i decide to stay home not going to anywhere. Although feel abit boring and lonely but really no place to go and nothing to do. Maybe just watch drama, eat, listen song and sleep. HoHo!

19/5/09

Today is my dearest roomate birthday! 12am we take the cake into the room and wake her up.. so funny her sleepy face blowing cake, making wish, and eating 8 pieces of secret recipe cakes. All of us so full and can't sleep. But so happy laughing and joking around.

last sat 16/5/09 we went vintry to celebrate roomate, yee, birthday. quite a new place to us, enjoy red wine and some delicious dishes.









After dinner 14 of us youngest 22... still go funfair... act like kids...haha! i still get to win a dog name WEWE back home to join my roomate "fei zai" and my "fei fei". haha!

13/5/2009

Today is A's mum bday. i did sms her this morning. she feel very happy and say:" thanks so much my dear, kiss, hugzz." Aunty, hope u happy always and healthy.

this few days after i submit resignation letter, i feel more relax and more happy with my works. chit chat and jokes with all the senior everyday. They did bring lots of laughter to me. although i will be leaving soon, but i will always rmb everything they teach me. Some still advise me to stay.

Coming month i'm going to step in new working field. totally different, totally new. At 1st i wish i don;t get offer so that i can go back home. But when the time i feel the happiness from papa mama, i know that i should stay.

friends around facing problem too, relationship and jobs... Hope everyone gone through everything smoothly, get happy my dears.

Maybe i'm quite sensitive about friend, i know friends around do not have so much good feeling towards him, but once i heard something bad about friend, i feel like fighting back those who mention. Contact become lesser, is totally NO, suddenly disappear, missing lesser, even one day feeling 100% gone, memories is still there, friend is always special since i mention to S two years ago.

I don't know when i will feel happy like before, but i hope is soon. And i should find out what actually makes me happy. family? friend? friends? study life? working life? freedom?

10/5/09

昨晚见了wl, cy, ys. 很开心谈了一晚。身边很靠近的朋友遇到了很多困扰，难题。虽然没有什么帮到忙但也希望她们都开开心心，尤其一位很久不见不谈的朋友，你开心吗？我会很快找你哦！虽然我们住得近但也很久没见面了。

最近很少因为想念朋友而流泪了。但不开心时还是有关你的回忆让我开心。朋友近况如何？我不敢sms 你了，唯有机会看到你online就跟你谈天。相信你很开心吧！

刚刚和表姐谈天，她们都很关心及担心我。告诉她们我很好，真的会开心。

6/5/2009

Yesterday night feel a bit better. Even still cry but lesser than before. I enjoy my drama and songs. when my roommate back. we did chat a lot and see a lot of photos. feel a bit relax and happy because fooling around with my roommate and house mate. hope Eon Bank really will hire me. And hope all my friends happy all the way in their life. Suddenly keep on mention about 1 friend tonight. And we know he is very far away. but as we know he is still ok with his life there. just hope to hear from him again when he online. take care my friend and be happy always.

haiz.....

yesterday during working time, i receive 7 calls from papa & mama. i know they worry about me. Every call i answer i cried. I really wish to go home but papa mama say try to work 1st bcoz there is no vacancy in kuching. i feel myself very useless because until this age i still make them very worry about me. i really don't know what should i do. sleepless again last night. even when i fall asleep i will wake up every one or two hours. I thought i will feel better after talking with Yan last night. WHY IS STILL THE SAME? can i insist to go back or i should stay here continue my work?

3/5/09

今天又回来KL家了。。。

30/4/09回到家就一直和爸妈谈个不停。很开心，也和爸妈一起看电视。开着冷气躺在我房间那大张的床，很舒服，很幸福，不失眠。但早上5点我做了一场梦，梦到我哭着告诉爸爸我不要回KL，要留在古晋。后来醒了，满脸眼泪，我大声地哭，控制不了。每天跟随爸妈这里去那里去，朋友我都没有找。今天早上6.03am我又醒了，又哭了，决定写一封信给爸妈告诉他们我的两个月心里话。

11.25am我进了去准备上机了，望着爸妈挥着手我的眼泪竟然流了，这一次我不但看到妈妈眼眶的眼泪，也看到爸爸眼眶的泪水。我知道他们是多么的舍不得我。

下午爸爸打了电话给我说他们看了那封信，爸说如果一早就看到我的信，他和妈就不给我回来了今天，他们一直以来都不知道原来我在这里是不开心的。

爸爸说："不要烦，一直烦及担心就会生病了，有什么就告诉爸妈，不开心就回家才慢慢找工。”

谢谢爸妈！！！